Positive Change

Working to change your life in a positive way is tough. I think this is especially true when negative thought patterns have become a habit, an addiction....Dare I say, a place of solace. However, God does not leave us stagnant. Not when our heart seeks Him. My moods remain frustratingly unpredictable, and yet...God is solid, strong, ever present. How easy that is to "know" now. I pray daily, hourly, sometimes minute by minute to feel His steady presence. But you know what? Most of the time I don't. That's the hard part... Learning that feelings are real, but not always reality. If I am sad, I acknowledge sadness, feel it, and let it pass so that the joy can return. Not the fun necessarily, because in all honesty, life is not fun right now. It's hard. Long days at work, the worry and fear that comes along with single parenthood. The feeling of never being "enough" And yet....the joy does come. That inexplicable joy from the Holy Spirit working in my life.

Close the Book?

I finally close the book
And place it gently on the shelf
with one last painful look

The shelf itself is in my mind
and filled with memories
A collection of emotions
– this too is one of these

I need to live the moments
because always is too long
The secret’s in the letting go,
it’s reckless to hold on

The pain will surely happen
and the hurting is intense
So take the loss and don’t look back,
just use more common sense

Adversity will teach you much,
and hope you may have learned
That in this thing we all call life,
one’s hopes sometimes get burned.