"Trusting in God involves the loss of our agenda, our flaming torch, so that we die to our inclination to live a lie. It requires forfeiting our rigid, self-protective, God-dishonoring ways of relating in order to embrace life as it is meant to be lived: in humble dependence on God and passionate involvement with others." ~Dan Allender
My inclination is toward isolation, for self-protection, due to lack of trust. This is challenging me. And it goes on...
"Do I believe that God is a loving Father who is committed to my deepest well-being, that He has the right to use everything that is me for whatever purposes He deems best, and that surrendering my will and my life entirely to Him will bring me the deepest joy and fulfillment I can know this side of heaven?"
July 8, 2012
July 1, 2012
Thunderstorm of the Mind
A thunderstorm just blew through. Beautiful, frightening....a relief and a terror. The highs are sometimes beautiful, a relief from the despair of the depression. Why would anyone CHOOSE to come down from that? Because the next step is the paranoia, the poor choices, the eventual loss of reality. The pacing all night long and the obsession with projects.
So friends, let me say that my closet is organized, my paperwork is systematically filed, my bathrooms are spotless, there's food for weeks in the freezer, the laundry is completely done and put away and I've slept only 6 or 7 hours in the last 3 days. Loving this! And truly angry that I have to call the doctor tomorrow and see what I have to do to reign it in.
The last 3 months have been drenched in darkness and this feels so good! What a shame that my brain doesn't understand "normal" anymore.
So friends, let me say that my closet is organized, my paperwork is systematically filed, my bathrooms are spotless, there's food for weeks in the freezer, the laundry is completely done and put away and I've slept only 6 or 7 hours in the last 3 days. Loving this! And truly angry that I have to call the doctor tomorrow and see what I have to do to reign it in.
The last 3 months have been drenched in darkness and this feels so good! What a shame that my brain doesn't understand "normal" anymore.
if an illusion is an illusion, can you prove it was there? if a delusion is never there, how was it there to begin with? if the mind can open doors that are not there, do they really exist, or do they exist as an illusion?
when does reality become imaginary and imaginary become reality? if the door opens to the realms of complexity and multiple realities, then each existence must be real....from each opening to the next, inside every person's imagination. from imagination reality can develop, then reality can be changed to illusion and maybe people think it was a delusion
so....is it real, an illusion or a delusion? who's to say....
when does reality become imaginary and imaginary become reality? if the door opens to the realms of complexity and multiple realities, then each existence must be real....from each opening to the next, inside every person's imagination. from imagination reality can develop, then reality can be changed to illusion and maybe people think it was a delusion
so....is it real, an illusion or a delusion? who's to say....
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