July 1, 2012

Thunderstorm of the Mind

A thunderstorm just blew through. Beautiful, frightening....a relief and a terror. The highs are sometimes beautiful, a relief from the despair of the depression. Why would anyone CHOOSE to come down from that? Because the next step is the paranoia, the poor choices, the eventual loss of reality. The pacing all night long and the obsession with projects.

So friends, let me say that my closet is organized, my paperwork is systematically filed, my bathrooms are spotless, there's food for weeks in the freezer, the laundry is completely done and put away and I've slept only 6 or 7 hours in the last 3 days. Loving this! And truly angry that I have to call the doctor tomorrow and see what I have to do to reign it in.

The last 3 months have been drenched in darkness and this feels so good! What a shame that my brain doesn't understand "normal" anymore.

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