The Names Have Been Changed

Sunday, January 24, 2010

It's 3am and a nightmare woke me. Nothing new....except this is not my home. Where am I?!

I remember.

I want to go home.

I am afraid here.

I'm here with Richard, a homeless older man with a foul mouth and disposition. Richard is the keeper of the remote. The only place to be during the day has a television controlled by an old man who doesn't hear well. The noise is unbearable.

Maurice is a homeless black man who resembles Kramer from Seinfeld. He talks off his head. He tells me he's going to Mars because it's red and that's his favorite color. He will begin a new world and it will be beautiful.

Lane is an alcoholic being treated for depression. He is a bit of an oasis because he seems reasonably sane.

James doesn't talk...at least not to us.

Regina is here because her son committed suicide and she wants to join him...she is so sad and cries all the time.

Georgia is Bi-polar and an alcoholic. They call that dual-diagnosis and understand that the alcohol is self-medicating. She's on meds to help her with withdrawals and is what I now refer to as "zombified."

Finally, there's Audrey Rose, my roommate. She arrived last night...my second night here...unless you count the night I arrived...it was 3:30am. She is young and tough....but not really tough...if you know what I mean. She's a devastated child in a young woman's body. She's a cutter.

I'm beginning to get used to it here, but the fear has not left. There are men here. The room doors cannot be shut and the bathrooms have only curtains. The mirrors are nothing more than polished metal.....there are no pictures and no windows.....and yet, they gave Audrey Rose a "Patients Bill of Rights" booklet with staples in it. I know what she can do with staples.